Are You Sex Positive?
How you respond when you hear the word "SEX" will influence decisions you make about it.
We don't become sexual beings once we hit puberty, start having sex, or once we're married - sexuality is a part of who we are, and the choices we make stem from our attitudes and beliefs.
So what is Sex Positive, and why is it important?
Sex Positive: Having positive views about sex, and being confident with your sexual identity and behaviors.
Society tries to sell us the idea that sexual liberation is doing what you want when you want. Be careful to note that this is not sex positivity. It's important to think critically here – it's HEALTHY to question your sexual world views so that you can understand how to be Sex Positive. Whether you are abstinent, asexual, married, single, dating, sexually active, or celibate, having the right perspective toward sex is going to help both you and the people around you.
There's also a great tension of curiosity and containment when it comes to an individual’s sexual journey. We are created to desire sex, and that can often seem to be at war with our personal boundaries and self control.
So how can we make right choices under external and internal pressures? By developing a Sex Positive belief system.
How to be Sex Positive:
1. Develop a healthy world view - or, as I like to call it, SEX view; Ask yourself why you do the things you do.
2. Value sex holistically – it involves your mind, body, heart, and soul.
3. Accept sexual desires – they are normal and natural. Understand that you are in control.
4. Separate your worth from your sexual choices – you are NOT your sexual choices.
5. Talk about it – have intentional conversations with safe people.
6. Respect others – what’s okay for you might not be okay for someone else.
7. Re-think gender – roles and stereotypes.
8. Seek healing - from choices you've made that you are unhappy with, or from unfair things that have happened to you.
9. Make decisions based from beliefs and values - don't just rely on feelings.
10. Read – Song of Songs is a book of the bible, and focuses on the story of two young lovers navigating through raw emotions, desires, and sensuality. (The bible actually talks about this stuff!)
I'll be expanding on the 10 points (like SEX View) in upcoming posts.