Can we be intimate?
Our world tells us that our value comes from the physical, and that true connection, chemistry and love has to be sealed with sex. Sex is a beautiful way to express love, but sex does not equal love. True intimacy in a relationship comes from communication, trust, closeness, vulnerability and the courage to be your truest self.
The key to a healthy relationship is friendship. If you're into someone and want that closeness - tell them your dreams, your fears and your hurts. Get intimate on a deeper level before you get intimate on a physical level.
I find it challenging watching Rom Com’s where they fall in love and sleep together straight away and it’s so romantic and beautiful and I’m like okay it’s not like this in real life. (Yes, there are exceptions… but mostly this is not realistic). Intimacy is being KNOWN by someone and that takes TIME.
There is so much potential for confusion and disappointment when you pursue intimacy through the physical.
Imagine, if a guy isn’t trying to push your boundaries and trying to get you to go further you second guess your attractiveness??? “Why doesn’t he want me?” “Why is it so easy for him?”
I’ve talked with countless people (mostly girls) who want to keep physical boundaries, but for various reasons have experienced thoughts and feelings just like this.
Like a guy is actually respecting your boundaries, and because of the way intimacy is sold to us by the world and the media as something purely physical - you find his respect shattering.
The greatest test of intimacy in your relationship is ‘am I known - the good and the bad - and still accepted, loved, valued, and respected?’
Don't have sex in an attempt to go to new levels of intimacy, go to new levels of intimacy and then consider the physical, your relationship will be so much more fulfilling!
Intimacy develops over time and can set a foundation for good sex!
Positive ways to build intimacy with someone that aren't physical, is through conversation-
Do you know his/her dreams?
Do you know their vulnerabilities?
What are they scared of?
What are their strengths and weaknesses?
Have you laughed with them?
Ask them what they value most about the relationship and why?
Ask them what they would like to work on in the relationship?